All about pegging ๐ (long) #11
Let's cross one of the most demanded topics from the request/ideas list. Enjoy!
Before we dive into edition #11, supporting the newsletter is possible through the Kink Circle & through Substack.
Kink Circle members get access to a growing selection of educational videos, documents, eBooks & the After Dark newsletter.
Humongous thanks to everybody who joined so far! Your money is safely diverted towards new content, coffee that keeps us going while we spend hours writing and curating each email & an occasional beer during downtime.
โ๏ธ โ ๐บ ๐
How to peg?
Before we go deeper, read: How to peg: From choosing gear to positions & everything in between, How To Prepare Your Partner For Pegging? and a less related, but also important Prostate Massager: 5 Reasons Why Your Partner Needs One & How To Prepare For Anal Sex?
How to clean your ass is what you should practice. We both got better real soon so it's not something to worry about. Also, if there are some leftovers that come out during anal/pegging, don't stress about it, laugh it off, clean it and proceed. That's normal.
(just recently we totally devastated our couch with lube and ass leftovers ๐ฉ - it happens - we still had a fucking awesome time - next day we ordered a Rug Cleaner Pro 2 from Amazon for $200, cleaned the couch, and then returned the product to Amazon - the couch ended up being even better)
Sharing below a great infographic on how to clean ass. This is basically everything you need to now, presented in an infographic.
It is created by BLINDJAW.
The douche we've been using so far is this one from Nexus, affordable ($19) and it does a good job (especially if you follow the steps above).
The following content is from Ruby Ryder, whose website is The Art of Pegging.That website is one of the best pegging resources online, with webinars and lessons.
Newbie Q/A:
Does it hurt? Many folks believe it is a hurtful experience because they were at the receiving end of an inexperienced partner (too fast, not enough lube). If it hurts, you are not doing it right.
Does it feel good? Yes, that's why so many people like it/practice it. It stimulates the prostate gland which is extremely pleasurable.
Is the man gay if he enjoys it? NO. There is no gender involved in pegging. The man who enjoys anal play simply enjoys anal play. IT ALSO DOES NOT TURN HIM GAY.
Can ''normal'' couples do it? Yes, they can. Pegging can be a loving and intimate act.
If you are new to pegging, open this link.
First time tips - read here.
More common questions, answered, read here.
Need reassurances? Read this.
Considering a strapless strapon?
The vast majority of vagina-owners cannot hold a strapless strap-on in and effectively fuck their partner with it. That is the real truth about strapless toys.
They donโt work well enough by themselves. They need a harness.
When a vagina gets sexually aroused, she usually gets wet. Slippery wet. Awesome wet. Well, awesome unless you are trying to hold in a strapless strap-on.
Size matters? Here is what pegging pros (prostate owners) say about the size, is bigger better? 344 people answered the poll.
Average is good. - 47
Prefer 6'' to 7'' - 128
Prefer 8'' to 9'' - 120
Prefer 10'' or bigger - 41
Prefer 4'' or smaller - 8
Hot tip: if you find having a strap-on repulsing or weird, try using a dildo on your partner without having it strapped. Also, try strapping it on and walking around the house with it. Maybe first with just a strap then with a dildo strapped.
Internet favorite strap on? Spare parts Joque.
There is a super active pegging Reddit community, check it here.
If you want to get yourself a really nice harness, here is a maker from Europe doing AMAZING harnesses. Check here.
To sum it up:
Talk it out, honestly and openly.
Have an open conversation about what you and your partner want and expect from your pegging play.
Shop together for the goods.
Givers - practice is key when it comes to movements required to fuck.
Check-in constantly - How does that feel? Is that enough pressure? How is the speed?
Consider adding some vibration.
Use a vibrator or a bullet vibe to stimulate your prostate during the act.
Lube is your friend. Use lots of lube and go slow. The pegger is in charge, but the peg-ee should be dictating the pace and depth.
Try fingers & butt plug before going in with a dildo.
Enjoy! Talk to us if you have questions!
After Dark free link of the week
Reaching from back and front with my hands is something that I love to do when we play - if the position allows it. It puts me in control and it's a way of showing that everything is mine. Nothing is out of reach.
We do not post gif links here.
A free link is delivered to your inbox if you subscribe hereWe use Convertkit & Substack to deliver the newsletter. Convertkit allows us to send more explicit links.
L.
Best male masturbators for other-worldly grip & pleasure
Recently, I analyzed most of the penis toys out there and chose 12 winners. If you are using a penis toy, alone and/or with a partner (which you should be doing in my opinion), definitely give this article a quick glance.
Beans 'n Sex cafe โ
Beans 'n sex cafe is something new we want to introduce. The cafe should be a place for quizzes, conversations and discussions in which we all can participate.
(hope we all like it better than Kinky Superheroes haha)
The first topic is pegging!
Do you peg? Would you like to (be pegged)? What should first-time peggers know, both givers and receivers? Is there a toy that works wonders? Favorite position and why?
Looking forward to reading your comments down below.
Oral - the dominant way
Non-censored illustrations are sent to your inbox if you subscribe here. We use Convertkit & Substack to deliver the newsletter. Convertkit allows us to send more explicit links.
Hey - Luka here!
Recently, I was thinking it would be useful to write down some of the ''moves'' and ''tricks'' you could use to be more dominant while receiving oral sex as a penis owner.
Although receiving oral sex puts you in a submissive position because at that moment your whole world is in another person's mouth, there are ways to control the situation and make you dominant.
Before you get to the very act of sucking a cock, you should talk about it, talk about expectations and what is allowed and what is not. Some will argue that talking about the scene in detail ruins the experience, but doing something your partner does not like mid-scene will kill the mood and the scene.
One of the things you should talk about and get consent for is where you want to cum. Ask your partner if they're okay with you coming on their belly, tits, pussy, face, or in their mouth (or wherever you want to do it). Also, before it actually happens, ask again as their decision and consent might change during the scene. And that does not have to be done in a super ''official and serious'' way - as you're about to come, you can say something like ''Oh baby, I'm going to come on your tits'' or ''I'm going to fill your mouth now'' or something similar. You definitely don't want to make it a surprise as it might not be a positive one. Other things you can talk about are: deepthroating, slapping, spitting, hair pulling, praising, degradation,...
Keep checking in with your partner. Again, you can do it casually by asking ''how do you like it baby?'' or similar questions.
Leaving your clothes on while receiving oral sex is another general tip that will make you feel and appear more dominant is to leave your clothes on. Naked often equals submissive. You can prepare beforehand and make your cock accessible by not wearing any underwear under the pants.
Another general tip I can give you is to position yourself comfortably, with a steady, balanced stance. It is of utmost importance that your partner assumes a position that is comfortable for them too, however, you'll instruct them on how to position themselves so it fits your wishes.
Even though you talked about what's going to happen and set some boundaries when you start the scene and have your partner where you want them, tell them what you want and expect of them. Not only this works towards getting the most pleasure, but you also assert yourself as dominant. What I do, for example, I hold my partner's head and tell her to look at me and tell her to keep the teeth away, not to touch my balls, and that I want deep and longer strokes.
If I have her kneeling in front of me, a great introduction to sucking my cock is holding her head closely and rubbing my cock onto her face, over my pants. Accompanied with some dirty talk, such as ''can you feel it grow?'' or ''are you ready to take it?'' it makes for a great intro and deepens your dominant position.
In the same position, I will have her spread her legs and have her hands behind her back, sometimes even handcuffed. Giving instructions and orders is another thing that deepens your domination. Remember, when instructions are followed, to follow back with feedback. This is important. Say something like a ''good girl'' or whatever other way of praising you might use or know your partner loves.
A couple of other things I do while having her in that position is holding her head while guiding her onto my cock, slowly if we just started or with a faster pace if I'm about to cum. Somewhere, mid-scene I might grab her hair on turn her head sideways (all done gently, of course), and stroke my shaft along her lips. This way, if you have a longer cock that your partner might not accommodate, their lips can reach the base of your penis. Either way, it feels absolutely great.
I also like resting my hands on my sides and letting her do all the work. I usually say something like: ''Let me see you work that cock'' or ''Show me how deep it can go'' which puts her in the submissive space and deepens my domination.
If you have a longer cock which your partner has trouble accomodating: through communication, insert your cock as much as they can take it, and have them put their hand on the rest of it, up to their mouth. This way their hand serves as a barrier, and you can keep guiding their head onto your cock or even facefuck them knowing that you won't go too deep because their hand/barrier won't let you go.
Another ''trick'' I want to share with you is using belts or neckties as a tool to guide them onto your cock. A move like this objectifies your partner because you basically make them a tool you're using to pleasure yourself. You are showing them you are using their mouth as a hole to fuck. Aside from being super hot, it also deepens power relations during the scene.
Choosing a position in which you want to deepthroat is a matter of preference, a matter of sexual exploration, and sometimes a matter of the direction in which your cock is curved.
I think of the penis owners have their cock upwards meaning that when you have your partner kneeling in front of you, the curvature of the penis is opposite of the direction of the mouth and throat, or in other words, that is not a great position for deepthroating.
However, if you have your partner lying down on their back, with their head hanging down from the edge of a table, or couch, the angle is much better.
Not only is the angle is better, but also you have access to their tits and genitalia. Making it also a more versatile position.
I like fingerbanging my partner, pressing her G-spot, or playing with her clit while also fucking her face. When I get her super turned on, she is more eager to take my cock in which is super pleasurable and great to watch.
When it looks like she might need a rest, I switch it up and go down and make out with her, then switch back to fucking her face again. This makes the scene dynamic and interesting. She also likes when I gently slap her with my hand or with cock. Slapping her with my cock and smearing the saliva all over her face is something we both like. I would say something like ''You're my good little slut, aren't you?'' or with my cock inside of her I'd say ''Nod your head if you're my good girl'' and nodding would only insert my cock even more inside.
Using dirty talk, praises or if you're into it, degradation can elevate and change the whole scene, from an average scene to the best in the world one. If you're not good at it, keep practicing. The easiest way to start is to describe either what you're going to do or what you'd like done to yourself. It's super simple and super hot.
Something we also tried, but she does not like so much is me holding her nose while having cock inside. This might be considered somewhat advanced because you're taking your partner's way of breathing (it's hard to breathe with cock inside of you). This adds domination, suspense, and panic element to everything. If you do it, do it for a short couple of seconds and let go, Your partner will gasp for air. If you have them on their back with their head hanging down, holding their nose will also stop saliva from entering the nose.
And the last position I'll mention today is the one illustrated above. Position yourself above your partner, either standing or kneeling comfortably, and either hold their hair (like in the illustration) and guide it onto your cock. Or hold their head steady and insert your cock inside them. While the position and the angles are not perfect for deepthroating, it is super sexy and dominating since your partner can't do absolutely anything with you being on top of them. You can expand on it by handcuffing your partner's hands in front of their belly.
The last handy tip I can give you is to keep a towel nearby. Your partner can spit or vomit and as much as this can be hot, cleaning afterward is not. Having a towel nearby might save you some trouble.
Glow-in-the-dark dildo?
We can make you one.
Planet Orgasm
Welcome to the most mysterious and wonderful of planets, a planet made just for you. It's called: Planet Orgasm. On Planet Orgasm, there are dozens of kinds of orgasms, just waiting for us all to have them.
People can take Orgasmanaut Training, learn the fascinating history of orgasm research, expand their definition of orgasm, and voyage into undiscovered orgasmic lands.
They'll discover orgasms for people of every gender and orientation: big world-shaking orgasms and gentle mini-gasms; orgasms in every part of your body; orgasms by yourself, orgasms with toys, orgasms with others... and orgasms only you can discover for yourself.
World-famous performer/author/educator Annie Sprinkle is the guide, together with artist/educator Beth Stephens and illustrator YuDori. Under the leadership of this fearless crew, they'll discover, through words and pictures, just what Planet Orgasm has in store for them.
Creator of the week: Dangerous Lilly
This week's creator is Dangerous Lilly!
I think it's safe to say Dangerous Lilly is internet's safe bet when it comes to checking the quality of the sex toys and materials used. Lilly is known her deep dives and research about materials, how they interact, silicone tests and more. A goldmine of information!
Podcast watch
On this week's podcast watch is an episode from Sex with Emily podcast.
We are sharing the Big pegging energy episode which is relatable to the main topic of this edition.
To peg, or not to peg? Thatโs the question weโre going to push into todayโฆ and yes, pun intended. Pegging, which typically involves a penis owner being penetrated through the use of a strap-on dildo by a vulva owner, seems to be more popular than ever.
Sexy bites
10 European sextech startups empowering better sexual health and wellbeing + the one not on the list, our friends from Konfettie
A look on the evolution of blowjob simulators - an article on XBIZ
Pegasus 6" Peg & Harness Set
Great entry level set. The upward curve targets G-spot and P-spot with sniper-like precision.
Gvibe Gplug 2
A recent addition to The Sex Shed boasts popular prices and very curious ridges.
Montero harness by Sportsheets
Affordable harness by one of our favorite brands, Sportsheets.
How to introduce kink to your relationship
A short summary of an article from the Submissive Feminist blog. Link to the whole thing is below.
If you're interested in kink but don't know where to start, you're in the right place. It all starts with research-whether that's through more articles like these, specific kink guides, books, podcasts, or videos. After that, you can negotiate your scene with your partner and take it from there.
Research
Do your research.
Find out if there are specific safety precautions or risks associated with the activity you've chosen to try.
If you're new to kink in general, you should first learn some key concepts from general beginner's guides.
Negotiate
Be direct, be honest about your desires, and make sure you and your partner are making informed decisions.
Educate your partner on what you want and what you're not comfortable with.
Establish your limits and general goals for the scene.
Don't negotiate while actively turned on.
Practice
Take things slow and communicate your needs and concerns as you go.
Set a specific time/date for your first scene or pull out the toys when the moment feels right.
Make sure you've gone through the negotiation stage before springing a surprise scene on your partner, and be sure to get a verbal confirmation of consent before you dive in.
Improve
Directly after your first scene, you should shift into aftercare mode.
Aftercare might consist of getting your partner a drink or snack, cuddling, giving them a sensual massage, or simply discussing the scene.
Regardless of what you and your partner need to feel grounded, there should always be a conversation about how the scene went so you can better understand each other and improve your skills.
Aneros Prelude
Just a week ago, Aneros sent us Prelude! Prelude is their new douche that comes with a sweet feature most of other douches do not have.
The silicone is super-smooth, and the grip is great due to the ridges. The sweetest thing about is the one-way, slow-pouring nozzle! See it here.
Busting 5 common myths about the G-spot
A short summary of an article from the Girly Juice blog. Link to the whole thing is below.
The common myths are:
G-spot stimulation is always pleasurable for everybody who has a G-spot
Itโll feel good from the get-go
G-spot orgasms are superior to clitoral orgasms
G-spot stimulation always results in squirting, or squirting only happens from G-spot stimulation
You have to have a big dick to hit the G-spot
Read the article to find why these myths are total garbage!
Is your kink practice missing something critical?
Rebecca Blanton talks about incorporating spirituality in kink.
When desire changes โ and what to do about it
A short summary of an article from the Joan Price's blog. Link to the whole thing is below.
Many seniors find that sex continues to be terrific, even better than ever, and finally we're talking out loud about that. But those who avoid sex out of lack of desire usually think that's just the way things are when we age - but that's not true!
Spontaneous vs responsive desire
As we age, spontaneous desire wanes.
Responsive desire: desire in response to pleasure and arousal
Some people find that they begin to want sex only after sexy things are already happening
These people donโt suffer from any ailment, their bodies just need some more compelling reason than โthatโs an attractive person right thereโ
How to talk with your partner
Lack of communication makes lack of desire far worse.
Talk to each other openly, lovingly, without blame
Ask for clarification
Explain your feelings without coming across as defensive
Try a no-goals cuddle time where they're naked in bed, holding each other, with no expectations that it leads to sex.
Getting Your Mojo Back
Relax, start getting physically aroused, emotional arousal will happen, and voila, weโll be in the mood
The key is to commit to regular sex
Schedule sex dates
Create rituals with your partner that signal sex would be welcome
Allow plenty of time for warm up
Make sex a habit
Knot
In this week's indie spotlight we have Knot by Sinnovator!
The Sinnovator Knot Platinum Silicone Dildo is perfectly attuned to our human ways, following the natural contours of the body for completely customised sensations. The perfect companion, it is instinctively a hunter that will follow a given trail to find exactly what it seeks. It has efficiently adapted to its intended environment, meeting its given goals and resulting in a satisfied and extremely proud owner.
The stunning design features include raised veins, a spherical knot and a pointed tip. In addition, this large breed stands at either 7.5, 9, 11.2 or 13.4 inches tall, with an insertable length of 6.75, 8, 9.8 or 12 inches. And, with a widest circumference of 13.4 inches, only the very well trained should attempt the XL Knot!
Judy's Lullaby
This week in creator corner we have Judy's Lullaby. Cosplayer lovers enjoy!!
Open Judy's Lullaby on Twitter
From our photo album
A place for sharing. Every week something different. Mostly about us, sometimes about the world around us.
Got to say: one of the most exciting things when it comes to pegging is jer*ing off while getting pegged from behind :D