How to choke your partner without hurting them
Choking is a horrible thing but if done right and in the proper moment, it can be hot as fuck.
And while it is easy to choke somebody, it's not that easy to do it properly.
Never (NEVER) surprise someone by choking them.
And while you might have an urge to surprise someone with your newly learned sex move, refrain from doing that. It might be traumatizing for them and also, it might be hard for them to tell you to stop if they're being choked. So this is a big no-no. Talk to them beforehand and exchange opinions, thoughts, wishes, and expectations. Also set rules. Trust me, talking about it and setting rules might sound like a fun killer, however, surprising someone by choking them is 10x worse.
Talk about details.
Things you could (should) talk about are: do they want to be choked gently or more intensely, how long do they want to b choked for, do they want to be choked during foreplay/penetration/orgasm, ...
Check-in.
After experimenting with choking, check-in with your partner and see how was it for them. Ask them if they liked it and if you could change something so it's more pleasurable for them.
Safeword.
Since they might not be able to talk, set up a safeword gesture. That will help if they can't talk and would like to stop the act.
How to choke someone properly?
Gently press on either side of your partner’s esophagus. When you do that, you are applying gentle pressure on the carotid arteries. The carotid arteries supply blood, nutrients, and oxygen to the brain. If you constrict the blood flow, you will end up reducing the supply of oxygen to the brain but not to the lungs and the rest of the body. That is what causes a person being choked to feel lightheaded (which many like).
The points you are looking for are slightly below the jawline and toward the ear on each side of the esophagus. Place your entire hand on your partner’s neck, with your thumb and index finger positioned on the pressure points. Now, apply gentle pressure.
Release the pressure after just a couple of seconds and give it at least a minute for the body to recover, in case you're going to do it again.
Squeezing the front of the neck might hurt their windpipe and will cause them to cough.
Regularly check in and ask them if the amount of pressure is too much, if the position of your fingers is okay, etc...
If they can't vocally tell you how it is - you're doing it wrong. Also, never try to choke your partner unconscious.
Often it is not about the physiological side of things but about psychological - meaning that gentle touch is more than enough (huge thanks to camdino5 on Discord for helping me formulate the thouight :))
Here is a great tip from our Discord friend Jynx.
For me, choking is an opportunity to explore different roles during sex. Giving someone permission to choke you, or the other way around - is allowing both partners to take on dominant and submissive roles. If you're on the dominant side, choking reinforces dominance over your partner and if you're on the submissive side, choking reinforces submission.
Hope this helps!
Stay awesome,
Luka.