How to tease your tied up partner: What to do with your partner after once they are tied up? FBS #12
Tying up your partner is easy but what you do after is going to determine if the play/session/scene is actually enjoyable. Continue reading how you can tease you partner into complete oblivion.
Before we dive into edition #12, supporting the newsletter is possible through the Kink Circle & through Substack.
This is one of the intro chapters for our Bondage Tape Guide, which now, I decided to share with the world (the chapter, not the guide). Many of the content requests we are getting for the Filthy, Beautiful Sex mention scene ideas, scene development, teasing the partner, and similar— and that is exactly the topic of this article.
So let’s dive in.
First and foremost, everything here, as I will surely mention several times later, assumes you have talked about it with your partner and you have consent for it.
Don’t be an asshole or a weirdo.Â
Nobody likes a dick deep in their throat or Tabasco on their tongue if they have not consented to it and are not expecting it. Don’t be that person.
Take your time, don’t rush, and feel free to combine the ideas below.Â
By combining the ideas, you will take your partner through a real journey of sensations and feelings, eventually bringing them to orgasm.Â
And remember, sometimes it’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey, so make sure you make that journey a remarkable and memorable experience for both of you.
The ideas listed below should serve as general guidelines on what to do.
You should discuss everything with your partner, prior to the scene. Surely, you do not have to discuss all the details and the exact order of things as that might eliminate the element of surprise. Talk about what you would like to get from the scene, talk about the general direction of the scene, and about the limits.
Depending on your level of comfort, you should talk about having a safeword. You can also implement the traffic light system which is simple to use.
Ways to tie your partner
Since this was a part of the bondage tape guide, I am going to assume you are going to use bondage tape to tie your partner.
However, if you decide to use something else, make sure the thing you are using is meant to be used for bondage — wide fabric cuffs for example — because something else could be hurtful to your partner.
Real rope can be comfortable but you have to practice using it, otherwise, it will suck.
How bondage works for you (or your partner) depends on what turns you (or them) on about it.
Is just being cuffed to the bedpost turning you on — on its own, or is it about certain kinds of things happening while being tied up? Is it the resistance bondage rope/tape/gear creates? Feeling helpless? Communicate this to each other!
Bondage gear listed by the ease of use:
Bondage gear (cuffs, hogties, ankle cuffs, …)
Bondage tape
Rope
We own several items from the Saffron line. It’s a beautiful leather line from Sportsheets, fits nicely and comfortably and it is really good quality stuff, costing under $100.
We also own several differently colored bondage tapes and a set of door jam cuffs.
Next on our bondage gear shopping list are the Glo and Cosmo sets. Not usually a fan of the blingy blingy and flashy things but these sets are really cool.
Before you tie your partner
In my opinion, it is best if you take a few minutes, 10–15 minutes, of your time to prepare for the scene.Â
That is much better than for your partner to wait on you later while you rummage through your things, trying to find that one thing.Â
That kills the mood, talking from experience.
Set the temperature. The room should be warm since both of you are going to be naked.
Pull out the toys. Put the toys and everything else you might want to use on the table or wherever close to you so you don’t have to dig through everything to find what you need.Â
Other things you might get at this point:
Put some water close by.
Maybe get a bendy straw so you don’t have to untie your partner.
Put some towels or those wet napkins nearby.
Put condoms, if you’re using them, nearby.
Put lube nearby — because you need lube.
Now onto the things you might to do your partner.
Safety during the scene
It might seem trivial and pointless, but know that injuries/unpleasant situations mostly happen when you are either careless and when you least expect them.
Though tape is generally safer than rope as the tension created is much more dispersed, there are still some important safety precautions to bear in mind.
Here are a few do's and don'ts to help make sure your bondage tape session goes as smoothly as possible.
As with all kink/BDSM plays, safety is an important aspect. We can't stress it or repeat it enough times - take your time to think everything through & to talk everything through with your partner.
DO:
Have a good pair of safety shears close by at all times, in case your partner needs to be freed from their restraints quickly.
Make sure you have a safe word that you’re both well aware of. A popular choice is the ''traffic light system'' as it's very easy to remember.
Agree upon a ''safe gesture'' if either of you is going to be gagged or unable to speak for any other reason.
Check-in with your partner regularly to ensure they're doing ok, especially if playing with bondage tape is something you're new to.
"red" = stop now
"yellow" = I'm reaching my limit
"green" = carry on
DON’T:
Leave your partner unattended whilst they're in restraints – whether that be tape, rope or anything else.
Use any type of tape without carrying out a patch test first to check for allergies or skin sensitivities.
Skip any of the safety precautions above!
Do not tighten the tape too much. It should be tight enough, to serve the purpose (eg. restraining), however, it should not cause harm or unpleasantness at any given moment.
Communicate with your partner to figure out the right amount of pressure.
A general teasing guide
Teasing should be your North Star, and whatever you do, you should do it in a slow, playful manner.Â
Give your partner an idea of what will happen but then ‘’withdraw’’ that notion.Â
The intention is to playfully frustrate or cause tension and incorporate some use/element of power and dominance over them.
By teasing your partner, you’re building tension in them — and the goal is to build that tension as high as you can —until all they can think about is the release. 
The built-up tension equals built-up orgasm strength. The more tension, the stronger the orgasm.
Later, you can take it a step further. Tease your partner until the point they are burning with the desire to orgasm — and stop. Prolong the tease until the next session. This is called orgasm denial and is one of the BDSM plays.
Orgasm denial’s cousin—edging is very similar, however, they differ in the fact that when edging your partner, the goal is to achieve an explosive orgasm. This is achieved by bringing your partner to the very edge of orgasm and stopping. And then repeating that several times throughout the scene.
Coming as close as you can and backing up at the right moment is a skill of its own.
First, you can order your partner/sub, depending on the relationship you have, to let you know just before they are about to come—why would they listen?—because if they don’t, you will punish them/not give them what they want/….
Second, you can read your partner’s non-verbal cues such as breathing patterns, body movements, contractions, etc and decide when to stop. That takes knowing your partner. Obviously, the more you do it, the better you will be at it.
Bringing them or allowing them to orgasm after several rounds of edging is going to be crazy pleasurable.
(edging as a masturbation technique is also very enjoyable)
Take your time teasing your partner, and as we wrote, don’t go for the ‘‘fun’’ parts just yet.
When you do go, for example, for the vagina. Take your time before going there. Go for the thighs, belly, the area around the vagina, and ass possibly.
If your partner has a penis, take your time before going there. When you do, start with the balls, before advancing on a penis. Also thighs, belly, area around, and balls.
Again, when you decide to go for the thing (penis, vagina) - tease them by licking it and stopping, kissing it, and stopping, …etc….
Tease with a bit of penis-in-vagina sex then stop. Use a masturbator toy and then stop.
Same thing with the anus. Take your time going down there, then start with a light massage around it, and continue by giving it an occasional lick. Take your time before going in.
Same thing with the nipples. Give their breasts a massage, do circles around the nipples, lick your finger, and do circles around the nipples. Give nipples a lick then softly blow air to them. Do all that with occasional breaks in between.
Play with anticipation. Change the course. Then tease and play with anticipation even more. The more you prolong the awaited action, the more pleasurable it is going to be. Find what your partner wants and desires and give them that last.
Or don’t—tell them they’ll get it next time — if they behave, obey,…?
Different ways to touch someone
When you start touching them, start touching the parts that are not as ‘’fun’’ and slowly and gradually focus on the more ‘’fun’’ parts.
For example, start with the inner thighs, neck, or back.
There are several ways you can touch someone and not every way feels good everywhere.
You can touch someone in a soft, gentle manner,
you can stroke someone,
you can rake your fingers on someone’s skin or through their hair,
you can gently scratch them,
you can pat someone,
you can tap someone,
you can slide your hand over a lubed body,
you can squeeze someone,
you can pinch someone,
you can caress someone,
you can slap someone,
you can bite someone.
try to combine as many of these to create an array of sensations.
Sensory deprivation as a tool
Depriving someone of their senses helps make them focus on things you want to have them focused on.
Two of the senses you can easily deprive them of are sight and hearing—by using a blindfold on your partner and/or putting noise-canceling headphones on them.
This way you took two of their senses away, sight and hearing — meaning that your partner will now focus more on the senses they still can feel: smell, taste, and more importantly, touch.
Having the sound cut off for me is ridiculously hot. Anticipation is at a max level. You are never sure what is going to happen next. And yet you expect it with every atom in your body.
We have the Anker Soundcore Q20 headphones which we got for other purposes however they’re perfect for kinky plays - the noise-canceling feature is perfect.
Sensory deprivation is a form of sensation play and usually results in an intensely erotic experience.
It is also a show of dominance. It also helps make them feel more helpless.
Blindfold - we own a leather blindfold from Sex kitten which has a buckle that helps with adjusting. We also have the full-face hood that is perfect for sexual objectification (eg. your partner as a sex toy, fuckhole, etc…).
About the taste
Since their sense of taste is pronounced, what you could also do is get some fruit and have them guess what it is that’s being put against their lips.
Things you could use are whipped cream, strawberries, chocolate, cherries, pineapple, champagne, grapes, and honey.
This can be a slow intro in what follows.
The tasting sessions we did a couple of times and it was great fun included fruits, whipped cream, chocolate, and genitals! While she was tied up, blindfolded, and kneeling, I would feed her and let her guess what it is. If she guesses correctly, she gets the cock. If not, we go again.
We’ve read that some people use very bitter foods or very hot foods. Definitely discuss that before the scene. I don’t see dripping Tabasco on someone's tongue without consent and notice going to be considered hot. :)
One thing I like done to me is being blindfolded but then having the blindfold removed just Leja is about to climax. There is something majestic and wonderful about it. The whole session, all the sensations connect into one.
Oral sex but in a teasing way
Penis-wielding partner  - receiving oral sex
Since your partner is tied up, this can be considered as forced oral: sure, you would want to face fuck your partner straight away but why not make them wait. Make them know what is going to happen and make them wait for it.
Use your penis to caress them all around their body and feel how hard it is. Then caress their face with it. Order them to lick it, kiss it. Stop. Then order them to open their mouth, insert your penis and pull it out. Switch to something else (fuck their boobs) before you actually start to face fuck/deepthroat them.
Read: Blowjobs the dominant way + 3 positions to try
Penis-wielding partner — giving oral sex
Same, don’t jump to sucking the clit straight away!
Start by teasing your partner’s vagina with your hands or fingers. Do circle around it, cover the vagina with your hand, and squeeze it gently. Pinch the whole vagina — also gently.
Continue by licking the area around it, especially the inner thighs. Do it slowly. We’ll assume that your partner is wet by then. Softly blow air to it. Lick the area just close to the vagina, around it. Then lick the labia before gently reaching the clit.
Vagina-wielding partner — receiving oral sex
Again, forced oral—this can also be called face sitting since your partner is all tied up.
Tie your partner in a lying position so you can easily sit on them. Sit on their chest, tease them, grab their head, bring them closer to you, and tell them to give you a lick.
Move away. Do it again. Squat over their face so they can see and smell you but not taste. Tease them before fully sitting on their face and making them please you.
Grab them by their hair and push them inside more. Pull them away, in a teasing way, ask them if they deserve it, then push them in again.
Vagina-wielding partner — giving oral sex
Lick the area around. Playfully bite even. Caress their balls before licking them. Lick their penis. Kiss their penis.
As we wrote before, stopping in between and switching to something else is always welcome as it creates anticipation.
Start sucking them off slowly then switch. When you feel they might be close to coming, stop before continuing. Slap their penis (but not too hard). Or stop and leave the room and come back a bit later.
While doing this, throw in some dirty talk. Tell them what you are going to do to them, tell them they’re your good boy/girl, give them orders, tell them how beautiful they are when they obey and tell them you’re going to punish them if they don’t listen.
We mentioned this before but here it is again. If you feel your partner might come soon — stop. Leave the room and come back several minutes later before continuing.
Or if you feel naughty, stop and tell them they will get to come tomorrow.
Additional reading: Blowjobs the dominant way + 3 positions to try
Tickling
Tickle your partner.
Tickle torture is a form of gentle and playful dominance, thus making it perfect for people who are new to BDSM.
Tickling can basically be done without any toys (however, it can be more effective with toys), leaves no marks, and does not cause any pain.
Consensual tickling creates a positive sensation in both partners, while forced tickling can create real distress in a person.
This is why most of us dislike even the idea of tickling (given the fact that we’ve been tickled as kids without actually wanting it).
During BDSM sessions, tickling is often combined with impact play — spanking. whipping, flogging…
That is a powerful combination because laughter releases endorphins which raise one’s pain thresholds.
For some folks, it is crucial to be bound to enjoy being tickled — they have a physical reaction that makes them want to resist and even fight back, so it means they really struggling against the restraints.
So until there was some kind of resistance play, the simple kinds of bondage are not that much fun for them.
There is a guide on our website if you want to learn more about how to tickle and what to use. Hint: feather is not the only thing.
Additional reading: 6 Different Ways To Tickle Your Partner
Using sound to create anticipation
For the purpose of this mini-chapter, let’s say you blindfolded your partner but did not put headphones on them — meaning they will rely on their hearing sense as well as on their other senses.
You can pleasure yourself so they can hear you. Combine with dirty talk.
Watch porn so they can hear it.
Try and create some type of anticipation.
For example: leave the room for a couple of minutes and let them think about where you went. And then, when walking back, walk slowly & loudly, in a very pronounced way — taking your time. At this point, their sensation of the environment is increasing and you should notice that by their deep breaths.
If you have your play gear lined up next to them, take, for example, a flogger/riding crop/spanking paddle and slap your hand. Then take something else and start using it on them.
This way, they won’t know what to expect anymore.
On a side note — about the blindfolds. Things can be more fun with a blindfold. Not knowing when or where the next pinch or ice cube touch or spank is going to go can add suspense and excitement.
Even simple things like feeding your partner can be much sexier as they won’t know what it is right away, and they will have to trust you. This can make bondage a lot more fun.
Dirty talking
First of all, as with most things, it’s a good idea to start slowly and build things up over time.
If you and your partner are completely new to the world of dirty talk, you might not be sure of what intensity you both like and want.
For example, some people enjoy hardcore dirty talk and being degraded in the bedroom, and others may prefer something much lighter.
Calling your partner a small-dicked ball of corn hair might not be sexy for them, just so you know.
Having a discussion beforehand and starting slowly is a great idea to ensure everyone involved has the best time possible!
If you’re struggling for ideas, a good way to kick things off is to think about what qualities in your partner excite you the most — and just tell them!
I really like your perky tits.
I love the curves of your body.
I like how my dick looks in your mouth.
I love the thickness of your cock.
I love looking at those eyes while I come in.
Don’t be afraid to let them know what you’re going to do to them in the most descriptive way possible and as ever, follow their cues and feedback.
There is a long article with many dirty talk examples (400+) on our website if you want to get some ideas and inspiration.
A part on fingering and handjobs
Whether I plan on using sex toys or not, fingers are definitely getting involved.
I’m not going to write the details of it here since we did two very elaborate pieces on how to give a handjob and also on how to finger the vagina, anus, and prostate.
We videoed 24 different handjob techniques which are a must-see, for both solo and partner play - and we also took part in creating a fingering guide that explains 27 different fingering techniques.
The videos came out really nice and the illustrations in the fingering guide are just wonderful.
Lube them up and play with your hands
I love lubing whole her body up and just touching her all over the place. Sliding my hands over thighs, pussy, belly, knees, … everywhere. It creates a beautiful, gentle, warm sensation all over her body. Relaxes her.
Sliding my hands over lubed-up tits and nipples is what she absolutely liked the most. Changing the pace, the intensity, the rhythm. Changing the way I touch her (pinching, sliding, tapping, ….). Changing the area.
Pussy is the last thing I visit. I make sure to touch everything before. By touching her slowly and literally everywhere, I also show her that it is all mine. I ask her whose body/ass/pussy it is. Yours.
She loves it. I love it.
Using sex toys to tease your tied-up partner
There are several toys you could use during a bondage session. If you’re an imaginative person, you could probably think of more ideas/ways to use kinky toys.
I will list some of our favorite things to do.
Lubes
Lube. Whatever you do, use lube. It’s just better with it. Opt for the no-BS Good Clean Love lube, Sliquid Organic Natural, or the yummy Sliquid Swirl.
Wand vibrators
A wand is a toy you should consider getting. It’s great, it’s versatile and it can be used during masturbation, sex, bondage play, and whatever. The all-spice of the sex toy world. :)
You can use it on your partner’s penis, vagina, nipples, and other erogenous zones.
Wands can also be used for forced orgasm sessions.
They can also be used during PIV sex — if they’re into clitoral stimulation, it is likely this will be super pleasurable for the partner.
Our gear: Le Wand Petite + attachments, Gender X Flexi Wand, Lelo Smart Wand 2, Lovehoney Wand.
Vibrators
Vibrators can be used in a similar fashion to wands, which makes them even more versatile as you can also fuck your partner with them.
Is there a best place to aim the vibrations?
You’ll probably get the strongest reaction by pressing the motor right up against their clit, and in some cases, penis-owners like vibrations up their frenulum. But converse and find out.
Our gear: We-Vibe Nova 2, Snail Vibe, Gvibe Gjack2, We-Vibe Tango X, Fun Factory Tiger.
More reading: Nova 2 review, Snail Vibe review, Gjack 2 review, Tango X review.
Panty vibrators
Panty vibrators are something that can if placed correctly, tease your partner for a prolonged period of time.
They can and usually are controlled via remote or app which gives you the element of surprise and also an element of dominance since you are holding it.
What I do is turn on the panty vibe while playing with her tits/nipples. Sometimes, I just gradually increase the intensity until the climax or until the next thing, and sometimes I play with intensity so it rises and lowers - like a wave.
Point being, while wands or regular vibrators can be used for same things, panty vibes do not have to be held to be used.
The one we have is We-Vibe Moxie and we both like it, positioning is relatively easy due to the magnet feature and Leja likes We-Vibe’s vibrations that are on the rumbly side. Moxie can be seen here, the review can be read here.
The other panty vibe we love recommending (Moxie sells for around $140-$150 which might be a lot for some) is Vedo Niki. We have not tried it but know Vedo makes decent toys so it might be worth exploring. Note: I don’t think tit comes with a magnet feature like Moxie.
Dildos
Dildos don’t have vibrations but are great for thrusting. I think they’re the great precursor to fucking, especially with some dirty words mixed together.
You can tease your partner with the dildo/tip around their genitals or other erogenous zones. If they are up for it, you can gently fuck their throat with it. And finally, you can fuck them with the dildo.
How I approach fucking is doing short but slow thrusts and then eventually I would get too deep, long strokes, and would increase the speed.
The dildos we own now are the dildos we make ourselves: Moonbean & Jeff.
Butt plugs and prostate plugs
If you’re into booty stuff, you can always add a butt plug. Even if you won’t be practicing anal sex/pegging, you can insert a butt plug and leave it there, for an added layer of sensations.
Or if you are, you can prepare their hole for what follows. That kind of dirty talk Leja likes.
I also wrote an article about the best toys I shoved into my butt in 2022.
FBS edition #11 features a really cool infographic that will teach you how to properly clean your ass - highly recommended read.
Cock rings
You can wear them or you can put one on your partner. It won’t take anything from the session but can help create a more explosive orgasm.
We recently got Velv’or Rooster Jason which is okay, and adjustable but if you’re not really long it might get in the way (during sex). I use either the Atom or the Tantus Supersoft C-ring—it is simple and I really like it and it is only $13.
Penis toys
Tease/fuck your partner with it or tie up your partner and make them watch you pleasure yourself with it.
Leja uses a combination of a handjob, masturbators, and her mouth to edge me and by the time I come, it's a fucking explosion.
My personal favorite is a $28 Tenga Spinner - my brain gets a hard reset every time I use it. It envelops my cock so beautifully I can’t even describe it.
Read the Tenga Spinner review here.
Read my list of best penis toys in 12 different categories.
Chastity devices
These devices are also another way in which you could playfully torture your partner.
Forbid them to cum or pleasure yourself in front of them and make them watch you.
You can say they are allowed to come if this or that happens. You can be playfully mean and say they’ll get to come when they please you enough times.
We own one and it is this one. It is nothing special but we don’t use it often so it is good for what we need it.
Other things you could do to tease your partner
Knife play
Definitely take your time and read about it because you want to do it safely (obviously).
You could take the knife and gently drag the point of the knife over their skin. Obviously, without breaking the skin.
Or if you think that’s too much, you could do the following. Take the knife or if your partner is blindfolded, announce that you took the knife. Describe the knife. Gently lean the cold side of their skin. Create even more anticipation with your words.
Use it to cut their panties off.
We use a kitchen knife but just so to create a more dramatic effect.
Here are some cool knife play daggers on Etsy.
Sensation play with household items
You don’t need a lot of gear to create different sensations in a person. Using a simple toothbrush or hairbrush will definitely do the trick. Contrast it with a softer type of brush - paint brush for example.
You can also use silky soft items.
Wartenberg pinwheel
Simple yet interesting tool. This tiny little devil creates an array of sensations and it is super simple to use and more importantly — affordable. We use it quite often as gets the person on top of their toes. The cold metal adds a great layer of suspense and fear/excitement. We own this little devil with 7 different wheels of spikes and one other from Lovehoney which served us well for several years but we threw it away after we got the above-mentioned one.
Vampire gloves
While the name is scary, the gloves are actually pretty cool - they are gloves that have tiny spikes coming out of them.
You can use them similarly to the Wartenberg pinwheel, gently raking them on your partner’s skin in order to create different sensations.
To me, they pronounce the feeling of helplessness even more.
Gags
By gagging your partner you’re increasing their sense of helplessness and anxiety level, by depriving them of a means to influence the progress of sexual activity through speech.
There are several types of gags available. Some are easier to breathe with, some are meant to open the submissive’s mouth, enabling them to give blowjobs/to be face fucked.
My personal favorite is oral sex after a long-ish teasing session since her mouth always gets super wet/full of saliva which makes for an awesome messy/sloppy BJ.
Affordable, effective, and simple.
We own two gags from the Sportsheets Saffron line, the breathable model and the non-breathable model, and an O-ring gag we got a while ago from Lovehoney.
Click here for a longer list of ideas on how to use mouth gags.
Electro play
Electro wands or a simpler toy, electro vibrator.
If you’re into electro-play, teasing your partner with the electro wand is awesome, especially with them being tied up.
I am aware there is a lot of elaborate electro-play equipment out there but we never got to it since we are not that much into electro-play but a vibrator from the Mystim collection was a nice addition to our collection.
Clothespins or nipple/pussy clamps
A very common tool among kinksters. There are also several types available. Be careful not to leave them on too long since they can cut off circulation.
When a clothespin or a clamp is removed, blood rushes to the area causing a somewhat painful but intense sensation. The more it is on, the stronger the sensation is.
Here’s an article on how to use pussy clamps and one on how to use nipple clamps.
We often pair our nipple clamps with a nipple pump set - Leja really likes that suction feeling on her nipples plus it makes them hard and perky, perfect for attaching clamps. The set we have is also a clitoral pump however we have not tried using it on a clit yet.
Clothespins - I recommend going for the wooden ones, they seem to feel nicer on the skin.
The nipples/clit is not the only place to attach the clamps. You can attach it to any part of the skin your partner and you are comfortable with.
If you attach them to the nipples, the weight of the chain is going to create a considerable amount of pressure/sensation.
You can have your partner crouching so the gravitational force does the trick, you can have them sit up and down on a dildo for the same effect, you can gently pull the chain while it is attached to the nipples, you can have them hold the chain with their mouth which might create pressure in opposite direction.
Impact play
Impact play can be practiced with: hands, spanking paddles, floggers, riding crops, or whips.
We won’t be going into details on impact play here, because impact play is a huge area and requires some education (if you want to do it properly).
We’d suggest you start with hands and advance to other tools, so as to gradually increase the intensity of the scene. Always give a thought about the whole dynamic of the scene.
Never, but never use something you don’t know how to use — and that is most likely a flogger or a whip, which is considerably harder to master.
Here’s an article we wrote on erotic spanking - it even has an area map - so you know where to aim.
Teasing is also an important part of impact play. You can use all the tools listed above to tease your partner or to say caress them.
For example: run the flogger drapes on their body, caress them or tap them with your hand or spanking paddle, and give gentle, but firm strikes with a riding crop when giving orders — such as strike their inner thighs when telling them to spread their legs (if they can, of course :)
You can also use a chair you probably already have at home to improvise a spanking bench.
Toys we own Saffron braided flogger and Saffron square paddle + some other spankers we got from Lovehoney but we don’t use them anymore.
Ice cubes
Make some ice cubes beforehand. Slide them on your partner’s body and their erogenous zones, such as nipples, neck, or inner thighs.
Warmed spoon
Be extremely cautious with it and try it first on your skin.
However, be also extremely cautious when trying it on yourself too.
Stainless steel toys
Stainless steel toys such as the internet’s favorite sex toy nJoy Pure Wand can also be heated and cooled down to create a sensation in your partner.
Wax/candles
There are specific candles that work best for this type of play. I like dripping hot wax and cold water from melting ice cube on my partner. The contrast is concentrated in a small spot/drop and yet so powerful.
Picking the right candle is important because those candles melt at low temperatures and will not burn skin.
We encourage you to go and read the Wax Play Guide as there are many other tips and tricks regarding it, such as preparation stuff and cleaning stuff.
Other things you can do
Masturbate with a toy, but don’t let your partner do anything other than watch.
Choke them up to the point you discussed beforehand. (Read How to safely choke your partner without hurting them)
Forced orgasm scenes — another thing that you should take time and learn about, however, in general, forced orgasm is a play whereby a person consents to be forced to orgasm in a way that is beyond their control. In the bondage guide, you can find several positions in which you can tie your partner along with the wand toy. This way, you’d be able to give them orgasm after orgasm.
Threesome - but without inviting the 3rd person. This can be achieved with a suction cup dildo (see how), Double Penetrator toys (with or without rabbit part), or with 3some series of toys.
Utilize your belt for some kinky moves. (Read Kinky ways to use a belt)
Pull your partner’s hair. (Read Why is hair-pulling sexy?)
Rim your partner. (Read How to eat ass the right way and Leja’s best rimming tips)
Come close to their face, blindfolded face, so close that they can smell you but can’t touch you.
Rub yourself on them. Does not have to be the face. Feeling your partner’s wet pussy on your knee is so hot, you would not believe it.
Masturbate in front of them. Have them blindfolded and make them hear you pleasuring yourself. Describe what is happening and what are you doing to yourself. Tease them by asking if they would like the blindfold removed
Role-playing scenarios you could try
CNC or consensual non-consent scenes
CNC scenes perfectly fit the tied-up scenario, however, they are often considered somewhat advanced and we think writing several rows here about it is just not enough. If you think you’d be interested in that, Google is your friend, do some research and have a conversation with your partner about it.
More role-play scenarios in which you can incorporate tying up
The more elaborate version of these scenarios is available here, however, I wrote down a list of scenarios here:
Stranger at the bar
Horny nurse wildling around the hospital
A naughty student gets punished by the teacher
A traveling salesman gets kidnapped by a customer
CEO extorts secretary or the other way around
The cheerleader and her boyfriend have first-time fun with bondage gear
Mafia Don kidnaps a witness
Cowgirl captures a bad cowboy during a bank robbery
The King has their way with the Queen
Celebrity found tied up to bed in a hotel room
Pirate captures a pirate from a ship they took over
Criminal mastermind captures FBI agent
A good hero captures a villain
Shy librarian ties up her colleague
Aliens beam humans onto their ship and have them tied up
Selene from Underworld captures a werewolf
French maid gets punished for doing a lousy job
Pretty much any scenario you can think off can incorporate bondage elements.
Fuck. Am I doing it right?
Observe how they react to your touch, especially when you touch them closer to the ‘‘fun’’ parts.
How is their breathing, slow or fast? Are they moaning? Is their body wiggling? Pay attention to the hand and hip movement.
Get to know their body — the faster they’re breathing, or if they’re moaning, or if they are wiggling, it almost certainly means they’re liking it.
When you come to actual fucking
When you come to the actual intercourse, untie your partner’s legs so they can position properly — unless they’re already in a reasonably comfortable position.
After the scene
Later, or the next day, process your partner’s feelings with them. What did they like, and what would they like less of?
The next day, after you both process your feelings, have a conversation. What did you like, and what would you like less of? What else would you like to incorporate into the scene? How was the dynamic? Was it slow, fast, or too intense? More toys, fewer toys?
You get the gist.
Have a deep, meaningful conversation and talk about everything. All this ensures your next scene is even better.
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